darling_nicki's Journal

well i thought i'd post since i haven't in a long time. i finally got a new computer....thank god, i was dying without one. you never really realize how much you use it or need it until you don't have one. the last few months have been kind of fucked up. i bartend at the larry flynt hustler club and we just recently had our grand opening. it was supposed to be ALOT better than it actually was but thankfully i didn't have to work that night. i started school yet again. hopefully this will be it and i will get my degrees soon so i can finally get out of school. well other than that its just been the same old shit.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: "american witch".....rob zombie

i've been m.i.a.
well i guess i'll just post a little update to let you know i'm still alive. a few months ago my computer died, because it is infested with viruses. i've been trying to get it fixed but it looks like i'm going to have to buy a new one.
lately i've just been working alot for no money, trying to get back into school and dealing with the one thing nobody ever thought i would end up with.......A BOYFRIEND!!! i know, it freaked me out too.
other than all that, i have just been going to shows and being the bitch you all know and love. well there is my update. hopefully i will get a computer soon so i will be able to post more often.

Current Mood: bitchy

over due update
well it's been a while since the last time i posted on here so i figured it was time. hmmm let's see where to begin. ok well school is going ok. i just can't wait till may when i am finally finished (atleast with this degree). i quit/got fired from my job at the DMV. my boss pissed me off so i told her off then walked out. and for some reason she didn't take that as me quitting or she felt like she had to show how "powerful" she was and called me the next day and said if i didn't call her back i was fired???? i thought me walking out kinda meant i didn't work there anymore but whatever. i've been hanging out with sam alot more, which rocks cuz she is a great person. we went out to flint for the dope show with dan, rick and dave. it was a very interesting show. edsel was very entertaining. and being pretty much a part of the show was new but i have to admit fun. everyone was drunk by the end of the night. so it made for a very quiet ride home. hmmm lets see other than all the same old shit, shows, school and just looking for yet another job nothing new has really been going on. just thought i'd do this so everyone that i don't talk to on a daily basis knew i was still alive. so till next time.....

Current Mood: blah
Current Music: motley crue

just an update
well i just thought i'd drop by and let everyone know how the last week has been. lets see.....penny came to visit me last friday (July 22) we were supposed to go to the ICP show on saturday but that didn't work out so we went and saw the devil's rejects. ok i love rob zombie but that movie was HORRIBLE. then we went bowling, and i kicked her ass:) then on sunday we went to see another movie, my sister is a manager and the theater so we don't have to pay. then lena (love her) called and asked if we wanted to come hang out at the hotel with her and the guys from crossbreed. we had a blast....i swear some of the things those guys do. then monday was the day of the dope/mushroomhead/crossbreed show. i'm sure the show would have been great if it wasn't 120 degrees in there so me and penny spent the whole show upstairs in the VIP bar where it was cooler. then after the show we hung out with all of the guys from all three bands....i think we both had more fun than we planned on. everyone was retarded drunk but me, so i got to see everyone else act stupid. then penny left tuesday morning. then i went out the IL on thursday to see the same show. again we had a great time. this venue was alot better than peabody's. the backstage area was beautiful, and this time i got to drink....woohoo!!! well we hung out till about 1:30am till everyone got kicked out. then we had to drive penny's drunk boyfriend (now ex) home. so we didn't get to hang out as planned. it's ok though i was so sleepy plus i had a 6 hour drive home the next morning. on friday mom came to visit and i spent the day with her. i think i'm gonna start planning a trip out to FL with penny to visit everyone. but that's about it. i'm still looking for a job and i still have no money. so till the next time something exciting happens in my boring life.....bye

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: "let's fuck"---Dope

just to make sure she reads this
i felt i needed to repost this under my journal just to make sure this little cunt reads this.

ok kristin i hope you read this. i was just informed that you like to talk shit about people that you call your friends. i should have known this all along since you have severe mental issues...and if anyone can really make that call it's me. do not ever talk shit about me to anyone. i am not you, i would not talk shit about people that i call my friends. unlike you i have respect for myself and other people. i think you should start hanging around people that are 14 or 15 because then you'll have the same mentality as your friends...because you just proved to me that you can't handle being friends with people older than you. you like to cause drama where ever you go and i don't need it. it's odd that you wait until i'm over a thousand miles away to start talking shit, but believe me bitch if you don't shut your mouth i will drive all the way down there just to beat your ass. so you'll shut the fuck up if you know what is good for you. and go see a therapist immediately because you need it. fuck it there is no help for people like you so just do us all a favor and fucking kill yourself already

Current Mood: pissed off

life is not getting much better
well i found out that it is going to cost $1700 dollars to fix my car. better than i thought but still an assload of money that i don't have....thank god for mom. i still don't have a job. my sister gave me an extension on that though, now it's the end of august. if i don't have a job by then she said we are putting the house up for sale. i think she is exaggerating but who knows??? well i'm quite excited about the next couple of weeks. penny gets here on friday night then saturday we are going to see ICP. i guess they only do this specific show once every few years and this time its in ohio so i told her we could go. then monday is the dope/mushroomhead/crossbreed show/cd release party. that should be fun:) then i get to go to chicago to see the same show. i'm going cuz penny asked and of course i have to obey;) the following week my mom gets here. i'm excited to see here since i haven't seen her since i left FL. my cousin promised me i would have my car back by the 28th so let's hope he wasn't just blowing smoke up my ass. i can't wait i miss my car:( well i'm sure i'll have lots to say after the concerts.

Current Mood: sleepy
Current Music: looks that kill--motley crue

god really does hate me
well yesterday was the fucking icing on the cake that i've waiting for. so i have yet to find a fucking job since i've been back which means i can't pay my bills. so here i am 25 years old asking my mom to pay my bills for me...don't i feel like a big girl. but the greatest part is last night i went out to some stupid "club" just for shits and giggles in downtown cleveland. so on my way home my fucking car starts to over-heat and then it just dies. ok this is not my car, it's a lease so i have to give this piece of shit back soon. so i call my cousin who is a mechanic and he says it could be something really minor like a hose but it sounds more like i blew the engine (which costs about $3,000 to fix). he is supposed to come out to my house to see what he can do but if he can't fix it then i'm taking it back to the dealership and making them pay for it. cuz it's only a 2001 and it only has 54,000 miles on it. and fuck it's their car anyway. so this is now more proof that god hates me and is punishing me for something. all i know is that i should never step foot into a church or i might explode. so this has been my lovely week so far and still have to go the doctor tomorrow about my seizures, so knowing my luck he is gonna say my medication level is too low and he wants me to go into the hospital for an IV. which is just another bill i won't be able to pay. life is just fucking great right now....i can't wait to wake up tomorrow and see what else god has in store for me:)

Current Mood: pissed off
Current Music: motivation--dope

just an update
well my luck seems to be worse than ever. i have been bored out of my mind lately. I HAD a job but waitressing at a club but because i didn't decide to take my clothes off on stage they've decided they don't need another waitress at the moment. Why in the hell would you offer someone a job if you don't have any openings??? what the fuck ever, i start my last year of college in august and i would rather have a job during the day anyway. So other than searching for a new way to pay bills i have been sitting around doing nothing all day. I did go to a couple of concerts this past weekend though. first it was the 216 show then the mushroomhead old school show. It was fun to see the guys from MRH again...they can always seem to make me laugh. coming up this month i guess i'm gonna be pretty busy, as long as i can afford to be. on the 9th i'm going to the in winter show. then on the 23rd me and penny are going to the ICP show and then dope/MRH/crossbreed on the 25th. And as promised to penny i will be in chicago on the 28th. and then she will be back here on the 31st for faster pussycat. so lets just pray i have a job by then. but i just thought i would stop by and give an update on what i've been up to since i moved back to OH. I actually kind of miss FL. By the way, Hardcoremayhem.com is going to be up on Aug. 1st so everyone better check it out!!!

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Static-x---Push it

back in hell
well i am now back in OH. it's been ok so far. me and penny went to the dope/MRH/MSI show on saturday....it was fuckin great!!! i missed seeing the guys from dope and MRH. they def made the show a blast for me. really i've just been unpacking and cleaning. sunday i drove to and from chicago in one freakin day to drop penny off....12 hours of driving....never again. now i guess it's time to find a job and get used to living in OH again. unfortunately my computer still isn't hooked up but hopefully it will be soon. But i just wanted to drop by and let everyone in FL know i got here ok and i miss everybody....hopefully i'll see you all again soon.

Current Mood: busy

almost time to go
well it's final. the sale for our house was made final today. i'm glad though cuz this means that mom is finally giving me the money to get out of debt. thank god....i'm so sick of $150 credit card payments...not that i ever made them. so penny gets here next saturday and then the fun begins. we are going to ft lauderdale on the 4th then on the 5th and 6th we are going to all of the disney parks, only cuz i get into them for free. i normally wouldn't pay to get into like 3 of them. then on the 7th we leave for ohio. we should get there on the 9th. then the dope/mushroomhead/MSI show is on the 11th. and then i leave to drive penny back to chicago. though there is ALOT of driving involved i can't wait to leave. i will miss alot of people i met while i was here in FL but i will def be coming back to visit. the people that i have met here that made living here great would have to be....laura, dro, almost all of the girls at work, kristen, jasmine....there are others i didn't get to know very well like lena and anna but honestly all of them made living here fun as hell. i will be back for good, once i graduate but my mom will still be here so i'm sure i'll be visiting quite often.
then at the end of june penny asked me if i wanted to go on tour with judas priest for a week cuz our friend jason is working with one of the opening bands....and of course i said hell yeah but there are still a few details to be worked out b4 that happens. anyway well that's what i plan on doing for the next month. i guess i should get back to packing since i really haven't done much of that so far.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: murderdolls.....love at first fright

time to say good-bye to florida
well we sold our house last night so it looks as though the time is here to go back to cleveland. i guess it's for the best...all i really do out here is sit around sleeping, working and watching tv. we've been here 8 months and i really haven't met too many people in the area. i had a blast though. i got to meet dro and laura....who are a blast. i hope i keep in touch with them, cuz i do plan on moving back out here once i get my degree. well the plan is for me to move back on june 7th. penny is gonna come out here on the 4th so we can go to disney world and ft lauderdale then it's off to OH we go. we should get there just in time for the dope/mushroomhead/MSI show on the 11th. then i have to drive penny and nikk back to chicago. so that is gonna be one hell of a week for me. soooo i guess that's all for now.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: dope--bitch

nicki sad
ok so it has been 11 years to the day since my best friend past away. he was only 14 when it happened and it was under the most horrible circumstances. he was riding on the hood of his sisters car in the development we lived in. his sister hit a speed bump and he fell of hitting his head on the pavement. he didn't die instantly which means he probably suffered....he survived on life support for a few days until the doctors told his mother there was no hope so she took him off of it. he died shortly after. so every year this is always a depressing day for me:(

on a happier note....the next 2 weeks are going to be really busy for me. i may or may not be going to ft. lauderdale/hollywood for the fetish party this saturday. then a few days later i'm off to cleveland....the drive is gonna suck ass since i have to go by myself but once i get there it is going to be GREAT!! i'm hoping to get drunk and get into a fight on friday:):) then saturday it's my b-day celebration!!! then the rest of my trip is kinda fly by the seat of pants type thing. my plan is to leave at the ass crack of dawn on tuesday to drive home. so lets hope for a good time.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: GENs---sin city

ok this trip to cleveland is gonna fucking break me. i'm already in debt and now having to save money for this is just making it 10x worse. this is yet another reason to make me hate school...if it wasn't for me having to finish my more than likely worthless degrees i wouldn't even have to move back to cleveland for a year. oh well i guess if i perfected by pole climbing and ass slapping skills i could become a stripper??? well now that i have a plan b. so i'm sitting here figuring out how much money i need for my trip and i'm gonna need like $200 alone just for gas. what the fuck is that??? now i get why bands go broke when they go on tour.

well to change the subject....yesterday at work i got bitched at by a co-worker who is more feminine that i am. i have nothing against gay people, some of my best friends are gay, but damn he is a bitch. it's like everytime he has a mood swing he takes it out on me. then he's like "don't think i can't see you giving me dirty looks" and i'm like uhhh i'm doing it so you can see me ass. i swear working at the spa is gonna one thing i don't miss about FL. so blah blah blah i'm done venting now....so till next time i will leave you with some words of wisdom......."be kind, rewind".

Current Mood: irritated
Current Music: HIM "rebel yell"

i can't fucking breathe
well i am sick AGAIN!!! this is really getting ridiculous. anyfuckinwho, i went to the fetish party again this past weekend. and i have to say i had a much better time at this one. i was actually awake so that helped alot, plus i got to drink, and that always makes things better. the only part that sucked ass was that i was supposed to stay out there with my friend laura but it ended up where i had to take someone home so i for some ungodly reason drove all the way back to orlando that night(or should i say that morning). IT SUCKED!!! never again will i drive back to orlando from ft. lauderdale on zero sleep after drinking all night.

well the plans are underway for my trip back to cleveland. i am planning on leaving on april 14th so i get there on friday. and i will probably stay till monday night or tuesday morning. i still have no clue whether or not i am moving back in may to finish school but if i don't, then august at the latest. it's weird as much as i hated florida when i first got here, now i'm kinda sad to leave. oh well, i have to finish school so i can stop working at these shit jobs and get a real one. ok well i can't breathe so i'm gonna take some drugs and pass out.

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: cinderella - nobody's fool

ok wow. so i'm sure everyone has heard about the horrible news going around about tripp. i could not believe it when i first heard it. i mean this was a guy i knew and i never would have thought this would happen to him. i really do feel sorry for him. and as unfortunate as this is i'm only hoping that it will teach others a lesson. because i would hate to see more of my friends go down for something as fucked up as this. i know what he did was a crime but honestly i'm sure this girl knew exactly what and who she was doing the moment he showed up. oh well all we can do is hope that he gets the lightest sentence possible and learns his lesson about fucking little girls so this never happens again.

ok now to change the subject. PETA sent me the most disturbing thing i have ever seen. it was a video on chinese fur farms and the conditions of them. well lets just say i only got through like 45 seconds of it before i deleted it. it showed raccoon dogs being skinned while they were still alive (thank god the sound wasn't working very well). these poor animals were being torn apart and had to feel every ounce of the pain. the "people" first pull them from crowded cages then slam them against the ground breaking bones and then hang them upside down and start cutting at the fur pulling it off them as they hang there helpless. the last image i saw was of one of these raccoon dogs with all of its fur ripped off him laying in a pile of others animals, some dead, some still alive, looking up at the camera almost pleading to be put out of it's misery. this just proves to me that all hunters and people who wear fur and leather should be killed. to torture any animal in any way is the worst crime anyone could ever commit. i watched this video like a week ago and i'm still having nightmares about it. fucking sick bastards.

Current Mood: irate

after some much needed rest
well i finally got the sleep i needed after this weekend. i had a fucking blast though. on friday, laura, kristin, nicole, dro and myself...plus many others went to the simple kill show in orlando....then on saturday we went to the fetish factory fetish party....good time but would have been better if i wasn't so damn sleepy....oh well there is always next time;) then on sunday me and kristin pulled ourselves out of bed to do our photo shoot for hardcoremayhem.com. i thought i would be nervous but i wasn't at all....dro and laura def. know what they are doing. i'm hoping to do another one so they have more options with my pics just in case the ones they took didn't come out as good as they wanted??? well that's all for now.....i'm sure there will be more to tell soon.

Current Mood: refreshed
Current Music: Genitorturers---sin city

still bored
well i started my job on monday. i like the job but i hate the people there. way to conservative and working for disney sucks. they have way to many rules so i don't see this job lasting too long. plus the hours are horrible (5:30am to 1:30pm). anywho, like always i'm bored...just sitting here doing nothing. i think i need to have sex soon too cuz i'm starting to go through withdraw:( soon very soon i may have to find some random guy and make him my bitch. well with that said i'm going to go. more to come at a later date, hopefully about me actually having sex;)

Current Mood: horny
Current Music: lacuna coil heaven's a lie

bored as fuck
ok just a word of advice never go to a chinese/latino restaurant....for some reason nothing tastes right. hmmmm i wonder why? oh well i'll find out later when i puke it up.

well is start my job on monday....excited about the money and free shit but i'm really not looking forward to working from 5:30 in the damn morning to 1:30pm.....i guess it's a good thing i like sleeping during the day.

i didn't do shit today but sit here and eat, i'm really surprised i don't weigh 300 lbs. ok well i'm bored as fuck so it's time to go to bed.

Current Mood: bored
Current Music: dope now or never

i finally got a damn job
after sitting around doing nothing for the last 5 months i finally got a job. it's working with people which may not be a good thing but it's money so that's all that matters. i was supposed to work at seaworld training shamu but seaworld sucks ass, and won't hire me because of one little mistake. oh well, there lots of other captive animals out there i can work with once i finish getting my degrees. by the way this might be florida but i'm freezing my ass off...sunshine state my ass.

Current Mood: cold

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